Nobodies
by Svvitch Logick
Summary: Partial AU, HikaHaruKao. Mild implied Hitachiincest. Hikaru has been invisible for as long as Kaoru can remember, so he isolated himself out of fairness to his identical shadow - that is, until Haruhi sees through both of them.
1. Prologue

Eyes closed, hand extended. A dazzling, laser-whitened smile that appeared with the words "host club." He looked like a foreign model with the sun in his hair and theatrical pose. Tamaki Suoh opened his eyes cautiously when it sunk in, after an awkward pause, that I did not really care to reply.

I would have gotten up and left at that moment if not for the familiar translucent figure studying Suoh intently. I knew that look. A minute later, the form moved around the blonde, circling him, turning him over in his mind, sizing him up. Even as he passed in front of him, those wide, naive eyes stayed glued to me. There's a reason for that.

"Move over, Kaoru," the shadow said calmly.

I shifted against the fountain, sliding a step to the left and dragging my bag with me. Suoh gave me an odd, hurt look. He lifted a foot to step back in front of me before he was shoved into the fountain.

The figure laughed, a sweet, deep, rumbling sound that the rest of the world could not hear. I told him once that it was a shame, him having such a beautiful laugh and me being the only one who could hear it. And that had made him laugh a bit, and he swore that I was enough. I was his world.

It was the least I could do to make him _my_ world. This host club would take away time and focus from him, so it was natural he would not be fond of the idea.

I sighed and shook my head, picking up my book to walk slowly off. I did not always like it, though, seeing him being mean to other people.

"Halt!" Suoh called after me.

I paused and turned my head slightly to the side, seeing the blonde in my peripheral vision. He scrambled over the edge of the fountain and toward me, not knowing that he stood with his shoulder almost touching my shadow's. The next words out of his mouth were, surprisingly enough, not about the invisible force that had pushed him into the water. "My offer stands. Our doors are always open to you."

"You're giving up? Just like that?" My shadow flicked the taller boy's cheek, who slapped himself as if he thought it was a bug. "What happened to your resolve? You'd be lucky to have Kaoru in your club!"

"If you can find my twin, I'll join your club," I blurted out, ignoring the shocked look my shadow gave me.

Suoh didn't speak to me for two years.

* * *

Two years later, I cut my hair and gelled it into a different position. When the hairdresser spun me around to look in the mirror, my shadow stood behind me and met my gaze. His hair was cut identically as usual, but parted on the opposite side. For the first time, looking at him face-to-face really did feel like looking in a mirror.

I asked him why it was different when we were alone.

"Now I can feel more like Hi-Kaoru." He broke his name into two parts, and for a second I thought he had pronounced his own name wrong. "You may think of me like a shadow or clone or something, but I am my own person."

What a depressing life he must have led, with only one in his world.

Thoughts like that always made me wonder if he really was a figment of my imagination, an old side of me or even an imaginary friend beneath the cobwebs of my memory. I can never remember a time when he was not by my side. Sometimes, I stared at him, trying to piece it all together. He was not a ghost. He could not walk through walls or fly. My twin, as I like to refer to him, was very much human, aside from two minor details: he could never be seen by anyone other than me, and even to me, his appearance had some oddities. He was darkly tinted and partially transparent. His clothes - old-fashioned Oriental-looking black silk, no shoes, and an out of place wristwatch - seemed to grow with him. Aside from the watch, he had worn the same clothing for as long as I could remember.

I had a white outfit myself, the closest thing to what he wore I could find. It felt right to match him. But this year, I would be wearing the school uniform.

"Kaoru," he whined. "You're pretty spacey today." He frowned and put his hands on my shoulders, the warmth sinking into my bare shoulders. "Come on, focus. It's the first day of your first year in high school. There will be new people who won't know that you're mine." My shoulders shook a bit beneath his hands, and he smirked at my reaction. "It's going to be a long day."

Hikaru moved over to our window and looked out at the limo. My- our driver waited outside already, I guessed from the look on his face, but I decided not to move until he continued. He inhaled, about to say something, but he let it out in a sigh.

My shadow turned and started downstairs without me.

* * *

My twin was sinking sullenly into his usual seat of the car when I got there. He hadn't even been at breakfast, not that he needed to eat. Something weird must be going on for him to leave me for so long. After all, when he wasn't around me, it was like he didn't exist at all.

"Something changes today," he muttered uneasily, not looking at me.

"Hm?" I turned toward him, my knee touching his leg.

"I feel bad." He grimaced.

I couldn't throw my arms around him with the driver in front, so I settled for grabbing his hand.

"Can we skip class today?" He met my eyes for the first time since we'd left, pleading.

Hikaru knew I couldn't just do that.

* * *

A frumpy little person was in the seat I had chosen at the open house, so I had no choice but to grab the less ideal beside him. At least, I thought it was a guy. With that formless sweater, it was hard to tell.

The boy's hair was in his face and his glasses looked dirty, so it wasn't likely that he had even noticed me come in. In fact, the guy continued on through the class without paying attention to anyone around him, aside from the teacher. Hikaru leaned on my shoulders and muttered that he'd heard a rumor he was the new commoner. Not that we knew of any old one.

At first, he was insignificant. This bizarre person was a little speck of dust on the windshield, so to speak. But at lunch, when I sat down at the only empty table with Hikaru beside me, the little commoner sat down across from us. This was unforgivable. I was unsurprised that someone would attempt to speak with us, but the fact that it was the goofy-looking scholarship student...

Fortunately, we were ignored at first. The textbook must have been more interesting than one (two) of Ouran's finest students. Alright, so this kid could be worse. He could be…well, that blonde idiot that thought we wanted to join his club two years ago. I suddenly wondered how that had turned out without me.

"Make him move." Hikaru elbowed me in the side.

"What, you can't move me yourself?" the little person remarked dryly in a vaguely feminine voice.

I didn't notice at first, but when I did, I jumped and froze, staring at him- that is, her. Hikaru blinked at her slowly, shock pushing his eyebrows up and jaw down. "Excuse me?" His voice suddenly sounded like he hadn't spoken in years.

"I said to make me move yourself if you don't want me here." She shoved one last bite of his mysterious bag lunch into his mouth before gathering up his stuff. "I'll go look for a quieter place to study." She looked up as if to say something else, then paused. "Why aren't you wearing the uniform? I thought everyone was so proud to go to this school."

Hikaru didn't look like he was going to answer coherently anytime soon, and I suddenly wanted this person gone more than ever. "Why aren't _you _wearing a uniform?"

"We have arrangements."

And she left.

Hikaru fumbled under the table for my hand.


	2. They Said I Need to Flee

_A/N: If you're one of the people who subscribed to this ages ago, please re-read the prologue. It's not very long, and I edited it and changed a lot of details about Hikaru's situation._

_

* * *

_

I made an exception, just this once, and faked sick. I still couldn't just _leave_ the school like Hikaru desperately wanted me to, but I put on a pretty convincing display of imaginary aches and symptoms for the nurse. Once at home, I went straight to bed. The maids brought up soup, which I poked at without much interest.

"We can't avoid her forever."

"We can." A spark hit Hikaru's eyes, which in turn hit my heart. "Convince them to let you transfer schools. Make something up. Or we can get her expelled. Maybe you can use me to convince them she's crazy." His voice rose indignantly. "Come on, Kaoru! She could take me away from you! Is that what you want?"

Of course not. My shadow, my twin, my world. "No."

He crawled across the bed, moving directly in front of me. I offered him a thin cracker dipped in the broth, which he managed to take between his lips without breaking. The spark from earlier had turned into a fire. I wondered why my eyes never had that kind of life in them.

The cracker fell from his mouth into the soup, sending drops onto the bedspread. I automatically reached for a tissue, but his hand stopped mine. "Then let's get rid of her."

"She might never speak to us again. After today, she's certainly not going to try to sit with us. It won't be a problem." I didn't have the luxury of being able to raise my voice without anyone coming running. Maybe the fact that I had to talk to him quieter made me the reasonable one, like the way pretending to be happy can improve your mood.

"Don't you think she'll start getting curious? She's a scholarship student; she's not stupid. My name isn't on the roll. I don't hand in assignments. I sit on the edge of your desk in class. She already thinks it's odd that I don't wear the uniform." He was standing on the bed now, towering over me.

I finally set the soup on the nightstand, fearing for my favorite comforter. "What if you're just becoming visible?" He stared down at me for a long time, looking shocked and offended. I hadn't realized that was a taboo subject. I added quickly, scared of allowing him time to speak, "It's less probable, but maybe she's just the beginning. Maybe one person at a time, people will start seeing you, and you'll start needing food-"

With a slam of my door, he left.

* * *

My shadow returned crying while I watched the sunset outside the window. I put everything aside and held him while he apologized profusely, wondering what kind of person I was to have been mad at him for storming out like he did while he was clearly upset. Being away from me - and therefore completely invisible - was the only thing that ever made him cry. "Where did you go?"

"For a walk."

"You're keeping something from me. Where were you?"

He inhaled shakily and pulled away. "I...nothing."

"Hikaru..."

"It's not important. So, let's figure out how we're going to get rid of Fujioka."

"Who?"

"That girl. I found out her name while I was out. And you're not going to believe this."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. Research. Suoh finally found someone to take your spot in that stupid host club." He pulled a student ID out of his pocket.

"Is that- Hikaru! You can't go around stealing people's IDs!" The rather cute girl in our grade and class - which was funny, because I didn't recognize her - was probably freaking out.

"But look who it is. Look at the face. Here." My shadow's finger danced wildly across the picture, as if drawing glasses, messy hair, and a baggy sweater.

My brain tried to connect the two very different looking girls as being one and the same. "Oh, Fujioka! That's the- Wow. What happened?"

My shadow smirked. "And she's now a member of the host club."

"...How?"

"I heard she broke a vase and has to pay it off."

"Lucky she looks like a boy, I guess." I paused to let it sink in. "That's...weird. Are you sure?"

"They even bought her the male uniform. Cleaned her up."

"It almost makes me wonder if the host club members themselves realized that she's...a girl."

"Oh, they did." He waved the ID around. "Eventually."

"You make sure you return that tomorrow. Does she know you have it?"

"Actually, no. I don't think so." Something in his tone was off, but I didn't push the issue.

* * *

I considered faking sick again, but I decided Hikaru really needed to return this girl's ID, and I was incredibly curious about this transformation this Fujioka girl had gone under. Convincing the household that it was just a temporary bug took more than a little effort and almost made me late, but the driver pushed the speed limit a bit and got us there on time. The whole way, Hikaru came up with crazy ways he could get the girl kicked out, although he seemed a lot more cheerful than angry, and he seemed to be trying to be more creative than serious.

"Thanks for letting me borrow your ID." My shadow discretely pulled it out of his pocket and set it face down on Fujioka's desk, nearly giving me a heart attack. What if people noticed the ID that was floating for a split second, that appeared out of nowhere? The floating ID that didn't match the gender everyone seemed to think Fujioka was?

Fujioka...

Haruhi Fujioka. Her hair was out of her eyes, and for the first time, I noticed how beautiful they were. I wasn't too into the boy's uniform, but she looked good even in that. Of course, there were plenty of girls that looked good and who didn't have a good chance of being into other girls...and my twin would absolutely freak if I even considered going after any of them.

"Hey, why aren't you at your own desk?" she asked my shadow, who knelt beside mine.

Our heads turned at the same time, like something in a cartoon. Class started. Saved by the bell.

* * *

She sat down across from us at lunch. My shadow grabbed my arm. "Hi," we said in unison, probably looking like deer caught in headlights.

"Your name wasn't called at roll."

Hikaru was right. She was sharp. "Don't you eat lunch in the host club room?" I asked sheepishly.

"I'm the only tenth grader in the host club. The others have different lunches." She looked at me. "I had an interesting conversation with Tamaki yesterday."

A stream of profanity went through my head. "Oh, really?"

"See, I asked him about you. 'Why doesn't Hikaru wear the school uniform?' Since you didn't answer me yesterday. And do you know his response?"

I sighed, resting my head in my hands, but Hikaru just laughed nervously. "Uh, he didn't know?"

"He didn't know. In fact, he looked at me kind of funny. Kyoya stepped in to inform me that although Kaoru does not have a twin, much less one named Hikaru, he did say something odd when Tamaki asked him to join the host club two years ago." She was like a detective, interrogating us. "Kaoru, you wouldn't happen to remember what that was?"

"What did you tell Suoh?" My stomach churned. I didn't know which possibility was worse: people knowing about Hikaru or me being forced to join the host club like I promised.

"I told him not to mind me, that I heard someone talking about it and completely misunderstood." There was a long pause. "What's going on?"

Hikaru glanced at me. "Nothing, Haruhi," he innocently informed her. "I'm just a figment of your imagination. You're crazy. Sorry to be the one to tell you."

She didn't say anything, but those beautiful eyes studied him for a long moment. "No, that's not it..."

"Well, it's just none of your business. I'm sure you've got more important things to do than follow us around, too, so you might as well forget about it," I snapped, pushing my tray toward Hikaru, who gave me an odd look.

She looked at us for a long time again. I was noticing she did that a lot. Maybe she was a little slow? I didn't like it. I was unused to conversation with people other than my twin; eye contact made me feel weird. It didn't help that her eyes seemed different from other people's somehow. She slowly turned her head to my shadow, another thing I wasn't used to. "Hikaru? Why can't you explain?"

It hit me.

_What the hell?_

"Where did you learn his name?"

She looked surprised, as if knowing his name was natural. "Huh?"

I turned to look at my shadow. "When did we tell her your name?"

He looked uncomfortable. "I went back to the school yesterday to introduce us properly. You weren't there."

"I know I wasn't there," I informed him heatedly. "Why? And why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to know what it was like to keep a secret." The words hung on the air; I'd be hearing them in my head for the rest of the day.

I opened my mouth and closed it, feeling betrayed. "Why would you keep it from _me_?"

"Who else? Kaoru... I just wanted to know how you felt. Not telling anyone about me. I've never been able to..."

"So you lied to me?"

"I didn't lie! ...I just didn't tell you."

"Speaking of not telling..." Fujioka attempted to cut in.

"How could you?" My voice sounded weak, and I felt like a girl in a soap opera who found out she was being cheated on. _Pathetic._ I felt tears coming, and I didn't want Fujioka to see me cry. I was up and out of the cafeteria.

* * *

Hikaru wasn't around the rest of the day. I hated feeling like I couldn't trust him anymore. More than that, I hated the time we were spending apart, and I knew that when he came back, I'd never run away like that again. I didn't want to leave the school without him, scared that he'd have to walk. It crossed my mind that he'd already walked to the school and back last night. But that was something different, and I was going to find him. I had a guess of who he would be with.

So I told our driver that I had tutoring after school, and I went to the host club. I didn't know what else to do.

"Hello. Not many male visitors, but we don't judge here." Ohtori? Was that his name? "Are you interested in any host in particular?"

"Um, I'm not..." I sighed. "Is Haruhi Fujioka available?"

"No, he left early today." His smile was somehow cold and amused at the same time. It sent a shiver down my spine. "I will entertain you in his absence, if that's alright."

"Where did she go?"

His smile faded at the word "she," and he was all business. "I don't think you need to know that."

"It's very important that I reach her as soon as possible."

"Keep your voice down," he whispered quickly.

"Kaoru!" A voice that I was hoping to avoid called from the couch. The blonde turned to drape himself over the furniture's back, looking at me like a puppy. "Did you decide to join after all?"

I didn't like his casual attitude, and I couldn't help but be somewhat amused at the way the girls flanking him squealed and blushed when they saw me. "No. I'm just looking for Haruhi." Calling her by her first name would probably make us sound more like friends, and increase the odds of him telling me something, or so I hoped.

The blonde's resemblance to a sad puppy intensified. "He couldn't come in today. He has a commoner family ritual."

I raised an eyebrow. "Where does...he...live?"

"I can't just tell you that! How do I know you're not going to steal his virtue? Or stalk him? Or laugh as his pitiful living conditions?" He struck dramatic poses as he spoke, and I wondered if he was imagining being surrounded by roses or something.

I took a couple of long strides closer so that I could whisper. "If you don't tell me, I might just have to tell all the ladies here Haruhi's little secret."

"What little secret?" he asked at normal volume, looking genuinely confused.

"I think you'd better leave." I slowly turned around to see the senior class duo Hunny and Mori looking unusually serious- unusual for Hunny, at least.

I realized then that I was probably out of luck, all because the host club was just too protective over their only female member to help crazy Kaoru.

* * *

I wandered around Ouran's massive campus, planning to do so until the time I'd told the driver came around. There was plenty to see that I'd never really taken the time to check out, and the campus was bigger than I ever cared to notice. I'd always been focused on Hikaru, so I'd never been alone with my thoughts. Part of me hated it. I wished the time before I would see him again really was the distance it felt like, because then I could run across it and be with him. Yet no matter how fast I moved, time crawled along at its usual rate. Better to keep busy.

The other part of me, however, the one that was almost relieved at being alone for a change, thought about how beautiful the garden was. It brought back memories of playing with Hikaru in our own big garden. Although our hedges were much lower than Ouran's, as a small child, they had seemed to be this size. I was thankful for the walls of plant around me and the isolation. If I started crying again, nobody would see.

I remembered, with a jolt, that Hikaru wore a watch. I didn't. I had no way of knowing when the driver would return. With a reluctant sigh, I turned to make my way back, taking a different route through the maze. I was still lost in my thoughts; I didn't notice the voices until I was right on the other side of the hedge from them.

"Fine! I'll explain. Would that make you happy?" I knew that voice as well as my own. I tried in vain to look through the hedge, or over it.

"Yes, very much so."

"Kaoru says there are two differences between me and a normal human. That I only wear the same outfit, and that I don't eat."

"You say that like you disagree."

I spotted a turn at the end of the passage I was in. I ran to the corner and almost skidded around it, but there was no way through to the spot I'd heard the voices coming from. I ran back.

"Do you hear someone?" Haruhi's voice had dropped.

"It's just me," I called. "I'm coming through." With a deep breath, I rammed into the hedge with my shoulder. I didn't even go halfway through. It was just enough for branches to tear at my uniform and face. "Ow..."

"Hold still, Kaoru," she sighed. "We'll come around."

I busied myself with getting untangled and clearing my uniform and hair of debris. My damaged pride, however, could not be fixed so easily. As soon as I saw his face coming round the corner, any mistrust or anger directed at him was gone. I tried to hold it up, but I ended up crying into his arms anyway. I stood there, my arms around my brother, covered in plant and all scratched up, bawling in front of a girl I barely knew.

My day was getting better and better.

* * *

_A/N: I'm torn on some things. I can't promise the direction the story takes will satisfy everyone or even anyone, but I'd appreciate it if you dropped me a line telling me what you want to happen. If I told you specifically what ideas I'm torn between, that would ruin it, so I'm kinda hoping some of you will touch on them by accident? Haha. Also, stuff like who ends up as an actual couple (threesome?), what you think Hikaru is... Constructive criticism is lovely as well._


End file.
